21 (PART 2)

We all have one of those “blue” days where we feel sad, mad or moody. We all feel lowly of ourselves sometimes. And we compare our lives with other people’s life. Before I turned 21, I did all of the above countless of times, but it was never ever so strong. It never controlled my heart and my mind to the point where I……
When we flew back home things started to happen. And no, it wasn’t because I was missing the wonderful holiday that we just had. It was because I was back at my graphic design work. This was the main cause for the big change. You know, not only did I dislike the course, now I was behind. The whole time I was wishing that I wasn’t studying graphic design. And the whole time I was wishing I was doing something else, something else that had meaning to it. I mean, how can I help a girl who’s feeling worthless with my design? I was lost and confused. I was annoyed and frustrated. And I was feeling like this the whole time until when the course ended that year.

Below are some of the stuff that I did in the design classes.

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You know, it’s true that a person’s outward appearance can’t tell what the person is thinking inside. And it can’t tell what they’re going through. I was messed up on the inside, but on the outside I was fine. I mean, I made myself look fine. Yep, I’m sure we are all good at doing that…

“Hey Sammy, how are you! Haven’t seen you for some time.” And we’re like, “Oh, I’m good!! How about you?” Meanwhile, in our minds we’ll be like, “Uh, I’m so fed up with life.” or something like that. Do you see what I’m trying to say here? I’m sure we’ve all been like this before. Anyways, I was pretty much like that. In fact, let me show you how I was feeling and thinking via my song…

Dark Place (Lyrics)

I have been thrown down to the ground. I don’t know when or how I got here. I’m in this place where I can’t get out. I scream and shout, but there’s still no way out.

Get me out of this dark place. Get me into a safe place. Bring me into Your arms. Protect me from all harm. Get me out of this dark place. This dark place, dark place.

My mind is filled with questions and fears. My eyes are soaked and flooded with tears. I can sleep, but I don’t want to. I can live, but I don’t know how. I have faith, but I don’t have enough. Yes I don’t have enough trust. I feel like I’m crushed.

21 (PART 3)

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