I’m not the confident type. I’m never the one who believes in myself. While I genuinely trust God and sincerely believe that He is able to do anything for anyone, I’ve always, for the longest time, not believe anything’s possible when it came to me. For example, you, I believe that God can and will use you greatly for His purposes (if you allow Him). Why? Simply because He is a God who can do all things (Matthew 19:26, Phillippians 4:13, Ephesians 3:20). So why then did I not believe in any of those scriptures when it came to me?
After years of being bullied and friendless at school, carrying a load of false labels of myself, hating who I am, wishing I didn’t have Alagille Syndrome….. when you add all those up what do you think you will get? A non-beating heart perhaps? In a way, that was what happened to me. My heart stopped beating for myself. And before I even had the chance to feel or learn to love my own self, it was stopped. Before I even had the chance to be confident, to be brave, to grow a thick skin, it was stopped. All, was killed. So that was why I never believed in myself and doubted God’s ability to do all things. I was skeptical. I was afraid/scared to think/dream big. I was negative. I was blinded. And even though I couldn’t see His word (spiritually blind), due to His unconditional and unfailing love, He opened my eyes one Sunday morning.
It was just like any other morning. I got up, got ready, got to church (with the family) and after when the service ended, when I finished my lunch, my mum’s lifegroup leader came to talk to me.
Who knew that one typical Sunday morning could change me? Who knew a simple, yet truthful note would remove the scales from my eyes? That day the good Lord set me free from my non-believing heart. Right now I finally believe that God can use me, Nikki Lee, greatly, for His purposes!
A few days later the making of this blog/website came to mind, from my dad. God used him to talk to me, to tell me that I can encourage others by telling my story.