Right now I believe, I believe that great things can happen to me. I believe that God can use me to do great things! Okay, let me hit rewind here for a minute and explain the full story of this. So, if you read all my post on THE PAST you will know all about my past experiences. You will know that all my life I’ve never really achieved or succeeded in anything, I’ve only been through failure. This was what I thought for years and years. I believed that great things can happen and that it can happen to others only. I would constantly tell myself that “nothing great will happen to me, because nothing ever great happens to me. Look at you! You fail in school, you fail in socialising, you fail in your walk with God, you fail in your health, you fail in everything!” And to make it even worse, others also told me that I wasn’t good, smart, pretty and that I was stupid, retarded, dumb and so on. So, I kept all of these and I believed in it, until I got convinced by it. For many years I did not believe that God can use me for great things. I mean, I knew God was (and still is) a great God and that He can do anything that He wants to do, but when it came to me… “never gonna happen”.
I had this picture in my head, or should I call it a vision? Whatever it is, I imagined myself, a small me, in a big box and I told God that “my whole world is in the box, my whole world is the box and my whole world has been living in it. God, I can’t see anything else. I can’t see the big world that is outside this box. I can’t get out of this big box. I don’t know how to get out of this big box. When am I getting out of here? Am I getting out of here?” It was like, I was the doll, in the dollhouse.
One particular Sunday one Aunty came to talk to me. She told me a lot of things, but what really got me was this, “God is going to use you for great things”, did you hear that? She told me God is going to use me for “great things”. Really??? One other thing that caught my attention was this, “Ask God how He wants to use you”. My mind was thinking all kinds of thoughts, I was thinking of what she said, I was thinking of what I thought of myself (negative thoughts) and I was looking at this piece of paper that she gave me……….