I mean, if you think about it, why not? Think about all the benefits of being famous. You’d be popular. You would look so, sparkly and glittery. You’d definitely be loved and liked by many, not just at school, but also, all over the world. You’ll have friends for sure. Oh, and no one will bully you. You’d be at the centre of attention. People will praise you, look up to you, want to be you, follow you……. you will be just like Hannah Montana.

Well, that was what I thought.

I was in primary school.  I wanted a friend. I wanted to stop being picked on. I thought being famous would solve all my being-friendless problems. I was also watching a lot of Hannah Montana episodes, that’s why it made me want to be her. I thought if I was her and had her life, I’d feel a great sense of worth.

But now, I want to change my life. But now, I want to show the world who I am. But now, I want to be famous.

I wrote this song when I was in high school. I wrote it because I wanted to change. I didn’t want to be my past self anymore. I wanted a line to separate the past from the present. I wanted it to be clear that past, was that, and present, was this. I wanted it to be a reminder for my future self. And just like my first song that I wrote – Lonely Girl – I wanted to write about my life and my experiences.

I’ve been shy. I’ve been bullied. I’ve been sick. I’ve been lonely. I’ve been having a miserable life, life, life. 

I remember sitting on my chair, looking back at my many hospital days, thinking about why I’ve grown to be shy and remembering the times when I wished I was someone else. I also wished I was friends with these two girls, and in my mind we would be the three musketeers. But reality was different, reality was me, crying until I fell asleep at night. There were times where I thought to myself, if only people knew I cried at night, would he or she feel sad or sorry for me? Would they then want to hang out with me?

You don’t know me. You don’t know my feelings. I was the one who went home crying. I was the one who wished for a friend like you.

And the story behind this song continues.

You were pretty. You were popular. You were the one that I wanted to be. I wanted to be like you. But now, I want…….

listen now


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s